From the Outside Looking In...

Now I really wasn't going to post another blog until this weekend, but after scrolling through some of the event albums I realized an intervention is in need. Apart from the fact that they are now taking my designs and sending them to China...ladies we need to talk.

Now I was under the opinion that the purpose of makeup was to enhance your personal features and to add some sense of beauty to your appearance. But I'm beginning to see a lot of unsettling makeup trends that I think we need to address for the sake of all future relationships. Now let me first start by saying that I am not a professional makeup artist nor am I aspiring to be one. I'm just a humble guy on the outside looking in. Today I speak for all the guys who are afraid to.

Imagery is a powerful tool to help you to remember, so I've included a lot of them to help get the point across. Ready? Let's talk makeup ladies.

Let me start off by saying I blame Youtube. With all these "makeup artists" out here doing tutorials it's hard to tell what's what. So let's look at some of the main things you should think about when doing your makeup.

1) Foundation

DON'T use a foundation that is 2 shades darker or lighter than your skin tone. As a matter of fact, let's not even go 1 shade....let's try for an exact match. Ladies, a lot of scary things

start happening when the flash comes out.

If it's a costume party and you're going as a ghost...fine. But other than that, let's stick to natural tones and hues. Otherwise, you'll come off as if you're trying too hard...

I beg of you. Ladies please go into the makeup stores and let them do a foundation match and stop trying to guess your shade online. And remember, when it comes to foundation...less is more. Too many times ladies seem to overdo it with the foundation and come off looking like cake face.

Let's move on to public enemy number 2.

2) Eyebrows

Now ten years ago, ladies were content with going to the barber shop and having their brows shaped out. But the eyebrows are getting out of hand. Don't believe me? Let's watch this clip to put things into perspective.

........We must fix it! Fix it Jesus!

So what are the common eyebrow mistakes we see happening way too often?

1) Brows that constantly fight each other on the playground.

2) Brows that glow more than you do.

3) Brows looking like moustaches that moved up the corporate ladder.

4) Brows that look like they flatlined on the EKG

Your eyebrows should complement your face ladies. Let's aim for balance. Here are some appropriate eyebrow shapes.

Of course, your eyebrow shape will depend on the shape of your face but you get the point. Let's move on.

3) Blending

Where do I begin to begin? As an artist, I appreciate and understand the importance of blending. Sadly, I'm beginning to feel like the only one who does. Ladies, if you're going to spend 2 hours putting on an entire face of makeup, at least make sure that it's blended properly. We don't need to see the line of demarcation at your forehead and jawline.

Since the advent of contouring and highlighting, that's all women seem to do. I didn't really know what the entire contouring process was all about so I looked it up. Apparently, contouring is used to "create and emphasize natural shadows in the face, giving a more defined appearance and transforming your bone structure". For those of you who are like me and still didn't understand all that crap, basically it's like making a crayola roadmap on your face.

And there's nothing wrong with that! Just make sure it's done properly. Blend your makeup so that when the photographer takes your picture at a party, you can smile confidently without worrying if you're going to come off looking like this.

It's NOT attractive. So let's start blending people.

4. Eyeshadows, eyeliner, Lipstick & eyelashes

Now eyeshadows look very nice when executed properly. It's something to be admired when done by somebody who actually knows what they are doing.

But too often they end up looking like this....

Now this all goes back to blending and honestly, it takes a lot of time to perfect an art. My advice? If you can't get it right and don't have the dedication to practice until you do, forget the eyeshadow and forget the eyeliner. There are many natural makeup looks that look just as good without the eyeshadow component.

Next is the eyelashes. I've got two problems with this one. First is fake lashes that we can tell are fake.

Then there are real eyelashes that have been clumped up to the point where they look fake.

And as for your lips...

And for the love of all things sacred and righteous...

5) Highlighter

First of all, why is this even a makeup step? Why do you need to glow? Beats me. But like everything else, stop overdoing it ladies. We all know you weren't born covered in pixie dust.

I can't really blame you ladies too much because at the end of the day some of y'all aren't actually committing these crimes personally. Sometimes you go to a trusted makeup artist and they mess you up. So please be cautious when allowing people to "beat your face" because some of you actually do end up looking beaten in the end.

I understand that some of you are self-conscious without your makeup and you feel like you won't get or keep a guy without it. But this summer, dare to be bare. Especially in Antigua this summer. Some of y'all faces be running more than water through APUA pipe.

So ladies at the end of the day just remember that the best version of you is the one without 50 layers of makeup. Yes, you can put on makeup to go to work or to go and have a nice night out with friends but you don't need to put on makeup to run to the store or to go to the gym. Accept yourself as you are and others will be forced to do the same.

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